Thursday, September 23, 2004

Untitled Project #6

Billy Zane plays the head chef of a restaurant (called Baked Alaska) in a small Alaskan town. A kooky cast of characters, including the wacky restaurant owner played by Joe Flaherty, populates the town, which has recently been overrun with the rich (and sort of famous). It's townies versus the nouveau riche every week. Billy's kind of new in this Alaskan town, but should anyone cross his favorite townies, they better watch out.

Revenge is a dish best served cold... in Alaska.

Every episode ends with Billy serenading the restaurant patrons with a ballad of this week's adventures.

Untitled Project #5

CSI: Vancouver, BC

Mary McCormick (Private Parts), a former shift manager at Tim Horton's, is the sexy CSI sidekick to Billy Zane's emotionally damaged, former veterinary technician.

It's Vancouver, BC, a city rife with drugs and prostitution. This summer somebody's gonna get burned.

Untitled Project #4

Billy Zane is a clerk to a Supreme Court Justice (played by James Cromwell). It's like "Hardcastle & McCormick" but in the courtroom.

Billy was a law student that took the rap for the justice's DUI, and in return for the favor, the justice gets him a job clerking for the Supreme Court. Complicating things further - Billy is the only match for the justice's much needed kidney transplant!

A judge and his ne'er-do-well clerk butting heads and kicking butts as they work to interpret constitutional law!

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Untitled Project #3

Billy Zane is a Blind Police Sketch Artist. "How," you ask? Billy's character is roommates with a professional police sketch artist, who (frankly speaking) is not very good at his job. Armed with salt dough and toothpicks, he creates 3-D portraits of suspects and missing persons while his roomie (played by Jimmy Fallon) sponges off his amazing talent.

We predict by Season Three the tag line will be "He Can't See Shit, and He's Goin' Legit" when Billy gets a job with the Police after his roommate is reported missing. Ooh, mystery!